Since our wedding day, we’d danced a handful of times. Life, children, stress, etc, had taken this simple action of intimacy away from us.
Recently, on a particularly uneventful Sunday morning, I noticed my wife doing her thing in the kitchen. Within a few moments, I looked again, only to realize I wasn’t seeing my wife. I was visualizing the mother of our children.
Her thing, consists of turning on some music, dancing around with various cooking utensils and occasionally shooting me a look while tending to the kitchen chores. Until this moment, I never thought of that look as an invitation.
In our home, moments of intimacy are seemingly planned out like a military advance with all of the what-ifs taken into account. Even something as simple as a dance, would be marked on a calendar, weeks in advance.
So for a random opportunity of closeness with my wife to present itself without warning, how could I not jump at it? For that matter, how many times had I missed that look?
So with a bit of guilt, mixed with excitement, instilled in my heart, I waited for a song to come on that was slow, maybe even romantic. I suppose, I wanted to surprise her. I must admit, my palms were clammy, my heart had a small pitter-patter beat going on. I couldn’t describe why I was so nervous if I wanted to. “This was my wife of 5 plus years”, I told myself repeatedly.
Finally, my moment of bliss presented itself. After what seemed like an hour, an appropriate song came on her playlist. As I walked into the kitchen, grabbed her around the waist, held her close and twirled around our kitchen, no words were said. They didn’t need to be. Her surprised eyes and ear-to-ear smile, told me all I needed to know.
For the first time in God knows how long, I danced with my wife. For three minutes, it was just us. There were no toddlers running, teenagers mumbling, pre-teen blood sugars to be taken.
My wife, the mother, wasn’t present. My wife, my most intimate partner, was in my arms. We danced like we were teenagers in love, as if our life of parenting had swiftly left.
Before we chose to become the parents of four children, before our daily lives turned into controlled chaos, this was the us I wanted, needed to remember.
Since that day, we’ve danced everyday. We’ve taken those few minutes of solace and embraced them wholeheartedly. I can only hope these dances help me to continually see her as more than just a wonderful mother to our children.